tv previews
Sydney Morning Herald
Monday March 8, 2010
The Bachelor: London CallingGO!, 8.30pmFor the first time, the bachelor is an import: Matt, a high-rolling banker from London with a thing for American girls.And here they come. There's Amanda from Niceville. Seriously, Niceville. There's Noelle from Loveland. Really, Loveland. These are actual places. No wonder Americans have unrealistic aspirations. There's Kristine from Charlotte. Or is that vice versa? Matt's head is spinning."Hi, I'm Devon.""Devon!?!" Matt exclaims. "Er, what a beautiful name."There's a make-up artist, a cocktail waitress and a church marketer who demonstrates her talent for biting a chunk out of a tin can. At this point, Matt crosses his legs.There's a neurotic actress and a hot dog vendor but, sadly, not a single philosopher or physicist.Brains don't figure highly on the selection criteria, clearly, a fact brought into stark relief by the lingerie-is-my-weapon approach of Stacey, who is soon staggering about like Oliver Reed."I don't wanna say anything negative," one woman says. "But Stacey is a bitch. She is loud, belligerent, tasteless, tacky, classless and she is riding my nerves like a pony."Lucky she doesn't want to say anything negative.Let's face it, The Bachelor franchise is mutton dressed as lamb. The format is so familiar it's a cliche: bachelor meets "beauties" and each week several are sent packing until, finally, we are left with true love and bonanza ratings. Problem is, love, like ratings, cannot be easily conjured.As horrible as it is compelling viewing.Survivor: Heroes vs VillainsNine, 8.40pmAfter 10 years, we're into season 20, for which the executive producer, Mark Burnett, has chosen to invite back 20 of the most famous faces (and barely clad bodies) from seasons past. They include gruff Rupert, noble Colby, bad Boston Rob and a menagerie of more. For several, it's their third stint.The gimmick is that the two teams have been divided into heroes and villains, as revealed in tonight's two-hour opener. The location is Samoa, which fans will find eerily familiar. Indeed, the competition is fierce, but the sense of deja vu is dispiriting.Warped as it is, The Bachelor is about love. Survivor is about winning a million bucks by trampling on every other comer. Let's vote this hoary old beast off the television island.Jennifer Byrne Presents: Books to FilmsABC1, 10.05pmTonight in this cosy TV nook purpose-built for book-lovers, Margaret Pomeranz reveals she's from another planet.The confession comes during a lively discussion of that perennial hot potato: books adapted into films, such as Perfume, The Road and Lord of the Flies. Pommers, a bookworm best known as a film buff, reveals decidedly unusual tastes, whereupon host Jennifer Byrne, filmmaker Ana Kokkinos, author John Marsden and multi-adapter John Collee respond with provocative pensees.An interesting page-turner with substance.
© 2010 Sydney Morning Herald
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